You know when you first meet someone, you want to do everything possible to make this one person fall for you… I feel like I’m not that person anymore. Like the spark is gone, no exploding, nothing. Like we passed the step of getting to know eachother and now we just keep living. Maybe living here and feeling like I have to do things is what’s making me upset. Or the fact that when your at work.. I have to be home to wait for you. Or the fact that I have no money at all to go take myself out for lunch or to buy myself an outfit. Or that I feel like I have to make sure your happy before I am. Or that I still feel guilty for what I did to you that all I’m worried about is YOU and how you feel. Like yes sometimes I want to go spend time with my friends or go to karambas and have a good time or fuckkk idkk :(, I’m so happy yet I’m so over it that I have to start my new job and I’m going to be watched every second of the day. I hate feeling controlled!!